I definitely need to learn how to take into consideration of how when I know something bothers someone, I will do my best to avoid that something.
I’ve been hurting myself in different ways possible. And this needs to stop. This really needs to stop.
Because now, I will fake it till I make it.
“Bakit ba ang manhid manhid mo? Gusto mo kong umalis? Gusto mo kong mawala sa buhay mo? Alam mo kung pwede lang sana matagal ko ng ginawa yun eh. Pero hindi ko kaya, hindi ko kaya. Alam mo araw-araw sinasampal sampal ko tong sarili ko para magising ako sa katotohanan, para matauhan ako. Para matigil na tong kagaguhang to. Kahit sabihin ko sa sarili kong tama na, Isang text mo lang ayan, nandyan na ko, hindi kasi kita matiis eh. Lahat sila sinasabi sakin na “ang tanga-tanga mo, hanggang kelan ka magpapakatanga?” Pero ganun naman talaga di ba? Lahat ng nagmamahal nagpapakatanga, kaya tanga na kung tanga pero mahal kita! Mahal kita
gago ka! bakit ikaw pa? “
Ridiculously relevant. Fuck. Super relevant. Except for the ending of course. LOL
I find myself so unhappy nowadays. I’ve never felt so unhappy for such a long time in my whole entire life.
Looking back, I might possibly regret gettting into this.
Caring for someone who doesn’t care as much as you do.
